So I am ashamed to admit it, but feel it necessary, I got fat...again. Not as big as before, but considering how far I had come, this backslide is extremely disappointing. This post is difficult, yet empowering for me. I feel a great cognitive dissonance when saying the F word. Fat. I don't like the word either and I totally agree with the hunger games chick, it's a socially acceptable hate word. I would not call anyone but myself this word. Why? Well, that's material for a future post. I digress. I had a very stressful time last year and while this past year hasn't been all sunshine and bananas I had no excuse. Sure, full-time work and school plus interning, being a wife and trying (operative word) to take care of a house, husband and three cats isn't a cake walk, it's enjoyable and can include healthy habits. While not having all day to work out kinda sucks, it is completely an excuse and a sad one at best. I firmly believe we make time for the important things in our lives and working out is no exception.
Tangent alert!
In all honesty, my biggest failing is food. I make the comfortable, ingrained foods, easy and dependable. I scarf cake, cookies, chocolate and peanut butter like Augustus Gloop. Disgusting. I deserve better than that! Please do not misunderstand, I have nothing against those who scarf; however, personally, I feel like trash after, my stomach hurts, I feel heavy and guilty, sluggish. Yet I did it. No more. I am making a choice to change my habits and get back to where I was. Weight loss and healthy lifestyle changes are like a road trip. Sometimes you might get lost, you may try different paths, some may be dead-ends. That's okay. When you are ready and want to you'll return. I have returned. I am working out, doing a ChaLEAN Extreme and Turbo Fire Hybrid schedule, til July. I am renovating our diet and kitchen. Salads, veggies, fruits and lean protein sources are our new staples. I am trying to find new foods and combos of foods to love. Apples and peanut butter, celery and Greek yogurt onion dip, almonds, etc. I am finding it rather enjoyable, actually.
Much like before I will try to share any good finds/recipes, but I make no promises. I am busy, really, really busy. I do promise to check in at least weekly, hopefully daily, with you. Keep you in the know, keep me accountable and maybe, just maybe help some random person, who, like me, needs a little nudge back to good.
I'm hungry now, so I am going to make a salad and eat a good, healthy lunch before I do my workouts.
Eating for the body I want,
LC
